Love Lost

My last serious relationship ended in February. We were together for a little while, had some rough times, the usual. What was unusual about it, was the fact that we didn't really express our feelings that much or that well. In all honesty, when I ended the relationship I loved that girl. She doesn't know that though, as I never told her. The relationship got to the point where it couldn't be casual anymore. I either had to fess up and tell her I loved her and wanted to make things "official" or I had to end it so that we could both start moving on. Needless to say I chose the latter. But just like any other choice, sometimes I wonder how things would've worked out if I chose the former. We really did have a good thing, and none of our issues were "unsolvable" so it could've worked either way. When I decided to end things it was for good reasons though, and reasons I still stand by. Do I think I made the wrong decision? No. Could I have waited? Yes. But in waiting, I just would've prolonged the inevitable and wasted time for both of us. Making what I knew was the right decision so early wasn't easy at all, but I do find comfort in knowing it was the right decision. She's moved on to a happy relationship, and I'm enjoying my somewhat single life. Who knows what the future may hold in store for me. For now I'm taking it day by day.

In other news, thoughts of the USAF still won't go away. I'm realizing I'm a bit further from settling down and having a clear path in life than I realized. Oh well, like X said "Don't stress it, it'll come." Of course the context is completely different and has absolutely no application to this blog post.

Dreams of yesterday

When I was a freshman in high school I wanted to be a pilot in the Air Force. As a approach my senior year of college I'm on course to receive my bachelors in Psychology on my way to a MA and PhD (from another university of course). Yet for some reason the ghost of my past dreams has resurfaced, and now I'm contemplating the USAF again. I don't know why, maybe it's all the military people I've encountered over the years. Whether its friends in ROTC, my best friend overseas, or the guy who's moving in with me next semester, I've been constantly reminded of my decision not to take the military route. Having so many reminders makes me wonder if maybe I should take that route again. Who knows what the final decision will be, but the picture got a little less clear lately. I'll figure it out eventually.