Virgin Suicides

Virginity. What does it mean to you? I can't say it meant anything to me personally. For those of you who know my story, you may understand why. For the most part, I don't really get into other people's business when it comes to virginity. It's their choice to do it or not. My only thing is that I won't date a girl or have sex with a girl who is a virgin, unless I see us going the distance. In the few times I've talked to people who are serious about saving it for marriage the conversation is usually pretty nice. No fighting, or stupid arguments, just an exchange of views on the subject. Lately I've found myself entangled in the mind of another girl who is saving it for marriage. For her, its's definitely a religious thing, and she seems deathly afraid of STD's. Someone who is serious about saving it for marriage may find the dating scene in college to be quite unforgiving. According to her "Guys only go for fast girls," which makes her question if she really wants to save it. She's already come close (I'd say technically she's done it), but she has yet to take the full plunge. I don't know if it's my new perspective on life and religion, or something subconscious, but something about her situation really bothers me. I guess it just seems like she's making it into a big huge deal, but she only treats it like that most of the time. I say most of the time because this is the same girl who, in our first conversation, brought up the "freaky pictures" she takes of herself and offered to send them to me. At first I thought maybe she had "daddy issues" but he's still around. Makes me wonder about the time the do or don't spend together. Either way, she really wants to feel that romantic connection with someone, and for many (including myself) that connection involves more than she's willing to give.

I'm not saying sex and romance go hand and hand, for they're two very separate entities, but I don't think there's anything wrong with having sex with someone if you have strong enough feelings for them. Some may call those feelings love, others may call it lust, either way, there's something in the mind that makes the act more than physical recreation. As far as the religious stance people take on it, that's really been lost in translation. I won't go into it too much here, but for those interested look up the the Greek word for 'fornication' you may be surprised by the results. In the end, what we do with our hearts and minds in a relationship should take precedent over our genitals touching. This past week another girl told me she won't have sex until she's married or until there's a 100% method of doing it with getting an STD. No, the fact that condoms give you 99% protection isn't enough for her. That's just an excuse though. Yes, both of these girls are scared, but it's not a fear of STD's, sinning, or having a man look at her as damaged goods and refuse to take her hand in marriage. It's got to be something else. I don't know why, but something tells me it is. Or maybe I've just over-analyzed an entire situation that really isn't any of my business anyway. Like I said, I don't really care much, but the lack of a logical argument from these two girls really annoys me. What bothers me, and what I do care about are the underlying issues and messages that may lay in their subconscious minds that prevent them from making a logical argument for something they're convinced they care so much about.